R.I.P. Amy Winehouse

Rest in Peace – Amy Winehouse

Twitter is an amazing thing.  I remember my first “twitter” moment was discovering via Twitter, that Al and Tipper were separating. Jamie Dupree got the credit for that one for me, and he’s my best twitter source in my book. There have been many such moments since, and I find that I get more hard, up to the minute news via twitter, than anywhere else.

So as I sat at my computer Saturday after lunch, there it came.  Amy Winehouse was dead, or so they said.  And they were right.  No one knew the official results, but every one knew it must be drugs.  If you follow trending topics, you know, if you are trending on twitter, it is either really good, or really bad. In Amy’s case, it was obviously bad.  Two hours later, her death announcement hit the world wide web.  The power of the Internet -- on perfect, or imperfect, display.  What is even sadder, is Lindsay Lohan started trending just an hour or so later.  They were all betting on her to join the 27 Club.  Apparently, she has 2 years to fulfill their bets.  Lindsay apparently got drunk in a Hollywood bar Saturday night, or so they say.  It’s still sad.

Amy’s death brought some painful reminders for me.  I read many friends on Facebook, say what an idiot she was, as was the jackass guy.  They deserved what life handed them.  No question they made horrible choices that led to their deaths.  But I don’t ever think they intentionally decided to hurt those that loved them and wanted so bad for them to change course.  And chart a path that would save their lives.

They could not control their behavior.  I hope no matter what, they wanted to change to make the people who cared about them proud.  I look at friend’s kids who have turned the road and made the hard choices.  They struggle every day, but each day gets easier (ha), but more realistic to make it.

I remember a frantic phone call at 4 or 5 a.m. when my mother was hysterical because my sister had overdosed on drugs.  My mom and my brother went to Memphis, and my crazy aunt chastised me on the phone because she said I caused my sister’s death.  Long story, but that is the truth.  Again, a long anticipated call for my sister’s death materialzed.  I’m not sure if I had her girls or we swept them away from Cookeville that morning.  But we took those girls to the UT/Bama game that weekend.  I kept expecting the public address announcer to call our name to go to some un-named place for an “emergency.” 

They did not. Thank God.  And when she died on Monday morning, we told her girls.  They were 5 and 6.  Serious stuff for such young kids.  I’m just thankful that Amy Winehouse did not have kids.  Because the tragedy of all of this is devastating.  I look at the tragedy of my sister’s death.  Her kids are adults, but stuggling.  My mother is struggling. We want to help, but we really can’t.  We can’t change lives, people,   Only God can.

I pray that God changes my nieces’ lives. That they start making good choices, responsible choices.  I don’t know if they will.  And I know they see me as the incompassionate Aunt.  Any one who knows me knows I score real low on the personality traits for compassion.  That doesn’t mean I don’t love them, and I don’t want what is best for them.  The writing is on the wall, and you choose to live your life how you do.  I’m not perfect by any stretch.  But I do my best to make a difference, show love (as best my incompassionate self can) and spread Jesus love, through my actions.

Amy Winehouse died because she was imperfect and she couldn’t change to live.  She wasn’t stupid.  She was actually very talented, like so many artists, who joined the 27 Club or whatever before her.  Her parents and family are grieving for her.  Their lives will never be the same.  And until you’ve had someone you love die because their love of drugs over came their love for life, you will never know what I mean.