Boys and Change

Joe and I will be childless, at least with having kids physically living with us, again in the next few weeks.  Linus returns home to Germany on June 22, and after attending a medical forum in Atlanta from this weekend until June 29, Rain leaves on June 30 -- at 6:30 a.m., no less.  So for all practical purposes, Rain leaves on Friday with Joe and Linus to spend the weekend in Atlanta.  Then, Joe and Linus come home Sunday afternoon, and Linus leaves mid-day on Tuesday.  Did I mention I have a reception at work that evening?  I should just be lovely, with red, puffy eyes.

I have thought all along that we are veterans at this.  We've talked with the boys about what to expect and how to prepare.  But in hindsight we were ignoring preparing ourselves.  It came crashing down on me at church on Sunday.  Charles took the kids up front, and reminded them, the church, and me, not once, not twice, but three times the boys were about to leave.  Charles likes to repeat himself over and over.  He's kind of like a lawyer.  Preachers and lawyers think that what they have to say is so profound and important, they say the same thing four different ways.  In this case, it was three.  And it left me in tears.

It probably is even harder because we don't have kids coming this school year.  Joe's dad is not doing well, and Joe needs to be able to go and stay in Cookeville for days at a time or longer.  I can't get the kids to school and pick them up and work (and feed them) by myself.  So we aren't experiencing the joys and meeting new kids as ours go back to their families at home.  The most wonderful thing about what we do is that we have developed extended families all over the world.

I joke that it is amazing that we hosted again after our first year.  I did everything  I could to embrace and love a child, including taking his older sister as our own.  She still is part of our family, but for a lot of reasons, that first child will never be part of our lives again, barring a miracle of monumental proportions.  I think when you learn first hand a child only cares about themselves and what you can do for them, you realize the love you spent on them didn't stick, so to speak.  I'm not going to punish myself with heart ache trying to help and love a child who doesn't care about any one but himself.  If you think I'm being harsh, I can give you one perfect example.  He actually said that what Jesus did for all of mankind was "easy" and if he were in Jesus' shoes, he would have done it too.  He said that Jesus could have made the pain, not hurt, and he knew he was going to live so it was easy.  I'm not kidding.  I think it was that moment that really made me go, oh no, this kid is just wrong.  But I'm not going to worry about it because I can't change it.

Yesterday, I had visions of Molly after cutting her favorite vegetable, cucumber (not), and putting it on her forehead -- it does have some good qualities -- then, making us Bulgogi -- which by the way, has become a fav in the Thompson house.  Linus and Rain love it.  Even though we've had a Thai kid, we have not had a daily dose of white rice, like we did with our South Korean and Thai girls last year.  I'm reminded of all of the efforts to pack suitcases, keeping them under weight -- shipping stuff home -- Jozie still holds the record!  And standing at the security gate, saying our good byes, hugging, crying.

Linus and Rain said they are going to make us a Thai and German dinner on Thursday.  That should be interesting!  Boys, you need to get me a grocery list quickly.  It brings back memories of so many other traditional ethnic meals we've shared.  From what I call Russian burritos, which are wonderful, to Thai pork, to Bulgogi to traditional German food, including Monika's potato cakes.  Monika hung out with us the weekend Molly and Ploy cooked for us, and we all had a blast.  That reminds me that it isn't just "our" kids, but other kids -- Monika and Christian, for example, that are a part of our family.  Then, you add brothers and sisters and friends -- Dinara, of course, and Svende, Alexandro, Danny, Gabby and Cz Cz.  We are so blessed.

I know these kids and their families will forever be a part of our family.  I know they will come back, we will watch them graduate, go to college, get married and have families.  The tragedies in what we have done are also there.  The lost kids and the kids who don't care about us as evidenced by the way they have treated us. But it is all worth it, the good and the bad.  Because the good outweighs the bad by bunches.  I told the boys on the way home from church yesterday that one of my missions was that every child who comes here knows who Jesus is when he or she leaves.  We also want them to know that Americans are loving, caring people for the most part.  We love our country -- we love God -- we love life.  I'm going to do a lot of thinking and tearing up in the next two weeks, but it is all part of the process.

We are going to miss you Linus and Rain.  We love you bunches!

Waiting for Baby Silas

Some friends of ours, who have grown near and dear to our hearts, are hopefully landing at McGhee Tyson right now coming home from Ethiopia.  They are bringing home the newest addition to their family, Silas.  Silas is a beautiful, albeit much bigger than they expected, six month old boy.  I think we need to start charting his statistics to supply to the University of Tennessee football program.  I am so excited for them.   I can't wait to meet Silas, and more importantly, watch Atley and Ava take care of him, because they are going to be great big brother and sister.  God Bless the Watson family and welcome home Silas!