I have really struggled with a lot of issues, faith based issues, in the last few months. I particularly have failed to understand how people who call themselves Christians are intent on persecuting others. Any one who knows me well, knows how much I love U2, all of whom are devote Christians except Adam Clayton (last I checked). Bono's best quote is "Christians are really hard to tolerate, I don't know how Jesus does it." The persecutors are doing so for no other reason than -- you are not doing it the way I want it done, the way it's been done, or the way I think it should be done. Really? I was reminded of the conflict when two good friends and I shared a Seder meal at Temple Beth El. I was asked point blank -- why do you think that flower arrangement with the column and cherub angel was left at church. I'm sitting there thinking -- because it is fit for a funeral and I would have no place for it at my house. I was silent, and then, met with a reassuring smile and chuckle, because the receiver of the gift was thinking the same thing. But that flower arrangement has been a source of conflict -- for no apparent reason other than, well, I don't even know. So we went on to laugh, enjoy a meal with new Jewish friends, and have a better understanding of their traditions. The most important thing for me, was to see Jesus throughout the Passover meal. He just added to it, when he broke bread, his body broken for us, and drank the wine, his blood shed for us. Do this in rememberance of me. I remember, I hope, each day.
So today I go to work and have a very queasy stomach for some reason, maybe the day. I left work at lunch and did my sick belly diet of ramen noodles, a milk shake, ginger ale and a grilled cheese sandwich -- not all at the same time :o). Then, I think long and hard about the sacrifice of two devoted followers of Christ -- who for the last 39 days (with guidance from their physicians) have eaten NOTHING. Nothing at all. I couldn't go a day without eating something, even when I am sick, so what does that say about my will or my devotion. If Jesus said to me point blank, Kelli, don't eat a bite of food for 40 days -- I truly do not believe I have the strength to do it. I really wish and pray I could, but I'm part of the crowd. The crowd that screamed for Jesus to be crucified or part of the disciples who fled like scared rabbits when Jesus was taken captive. As I have reflected on this, I really hope and pray I would be like Mary, mother of Jesus or Mary Magdeline, there supporting Jesus, wiping up his blood, sobbing with grief for what happened to him. But the truth is, none of us knows how we would have reacted or acted unless we were thrust into that horrible, horrible moment in history. The 24 hours that changed the world. I can only hope what I would have done. But I will never know. I do know I could not go without food, for 40 days -- maybe if I was in a coma. I could not carry a Cross a third of a mile or 3 miles on day 38, and I could not go without sobbing when I hear nails being pounded into a Cross -- knowing that all of us allowed this to happen -- and needed it to happen to save ourselves.
Today is a very dark day for Christians so I don't really know why it is called "Good Friday" other than what follows. Easter is the gift, because Jesus rose from the dead and ascended into heaven. We all are blessed with that gift, whether we embrace it or reject it. Jesus did it for every one on Earth, the wicked, the sinners, the righteous and the evil. We are all in the same boat. So how do you respond? What path do you take? I hope I try to follow Christ, although I will never do it perfectly -- or even come close.
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